Billionaires for Wealthcare Thank Teabaggers For Their Support

Alex Lawson — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 20:15:32 -0400

It was a lovely day in DC as the Billionaires for Wealthcare gathered to survey our investments. After a few of our beautiful heiresses took proper tea at the Ladies Tea Party held by Americans for Prosperity, our gilded heroes headed off to greet the marchers with signs, chants and songs.

We set up our post on an elevated curb along Pennsylvania Avenue, proudly surveying the throngs we'd funded. The crowds mainly greeted us with cheers for the status quo. A few seemed confused; they were clearly in awe to be face-to-face with those who profit from their most manipulated fears.

As they passed we waved them on and serenaded them with our songs.

From our perch, your trusty billionaires we thanked our hardworking teabaggers, rallying the crowd with rousing chants like “Money is freedom!”, “Freedom Works – FOR US!, “You Protest – We Profit!” and the big crowd favorite, “Bring Back Bush!!!”

From there we decamped and headed into the crowds toward the Capitol to mingle with those working so hard to ensure our right to raise rates and deny claims.

The crowd embraced us with their exuberant chants and signs. Ayn Rand was a favorite theme, of which we naturally approved, but some were a bit unique. Regardless, we're proud of the teabaggers, and so thrilled that they came out like good soldiers. After all, nothing says freedom like denying claims. And besides, OUR death panels turn a profit.

To close we popped some champagne, toasted our teabaggers and took our leave of the march.

Back in the limo, we enjoyed the last of our caviar and, as a final touch, sent a huge flower arrangement to the luxury suite of our most loyal foot soldier, Glenn Beck, and headed home.

Until the next rally, we remain yours in obscene wealth and the status quo – Billionaires For Wealthcare.

You, too can be a billionaire in the comfort of your local Town Hall Meeting! Check our website and join in the fun!