Dear Senator Jim Bunning (R-Dreamland),
First of all, good morning! Have a nice nap? I know, determining the future physical and financial health of the nation you are meant to be representing can be SO boring! Not to mention how tiring it can be to deliver a public rant on behalf of the private insurance industry. You must have been burning the midnight oil the night before to write that particular gem. In the future, however, why not get your eight hours and just read from a pre-written sheet of talking points? Take advantage of all the hard work Frank Luntz  has already put in! I also realize that you and many of your colleagues don’t really need to hear about the details of health care reform in order to decide to vote against it. How exhausting can it really be to just say no to any effort to provide quality, affordable coverage to the millions of uninsured?
Don’t worry, the hearing is not nearly as important as, say, a baseball game. I don’t recall you dozing off during any of those. Just in case you weren’t filled in by your ever-vigilant staff, here’s a quick summary of things that happened during your sleepy time. First of all, another American died from lack of insurance . I don’t know exactly how long you were asleep, but considering that this happens, on average, every ten minutes or so, it seems pretty certain that you missed that one. Of course, those numbers only include people from ages 17-64 because everyone older than that is struggling under the burden of government-controlled health care, which tends to keep them healthy. Also, at least 40 people lost their coverage . In the eight hours that you probably should have taken to rest up the night before, more than 2,000 people lost their coverage. With so many people losing their coverage, who knows? Maybe two or even three people will die during your next courageous bout with mid-afternoon sleepiness.