Get These Emotionally Needy Narcissists Out Of My Face

Building on Dave's point about why corporate charity is bad, there's also the perceptual problem that the little good they do covers up the systemic, persistent evil they do. For instance, if they paid better wages to the lower tiers of their workers, and a fair share of their *ing taxes, and there wouldn't be so much need for charity.

And let's be plain, a lot of charity is done because people like engaging in charity. It's maybe a good impulse, but like any human trait, it can shade into damage. There is a good reason, in my opinion, why the Bible not only encourages charity, but discourages bragging, praying in public, and even being too self-congratulatory about what good a person does.

Maybe I bought a windowpane in a public building through my taxes once, but I don't need my name inscribed on it. I don't need a gala and some famous person to shake my hand. Take the money, add a brick to a decent society for me to live in, have done with it already.

I don't want a bunch of emotionally needy bastiches shoving charity in my face, either, begging for me to admire their fabulousness. I don't want to need their charity so they can feel like their lives have meaning to others. If they need more affection, they should adopt a dog, get out more, get a job with nicer coworkers, join facebook, take a class, go to a bar or something, like everybody else does.

I need my government to work. I need a good job and a safe, modern city to live in and someone who makes a living wage to take care of the park down the street. Then I can better enjoy the company of those other anonymous taxpayers who make my life worth living on a day-to-day basis, you know, my important friends. You, dear reader, probably have similar interests, but your list may differ. These goals are all hindered by anyone who benefits from public goods and only wants to give back in charity, and probably less at that than they paid the accountant who helped them avoid paying their taxes.

We had a small gathering at our apartment last night (another good way to get to know people, btw) and someone was telling the group about a fundamentalist, right-wing Christian he knows who thinks a public health system would be actually evil because it's her duty as a Christian to provide charity. Basically, if everyone had health care, it would deprive people like her of the opportunity to perform good works. I get as much charge out of helping others as anyone else does, but that's just nonsense. It's as if Jesus had said, 'make sure the poor stay that way.' What the heck kind of morality is that, anyhow?

And that attitude is the exact same bind you're in if you're more worried that corporations will stop giving to charity than that they could be stopped from manufacturing poverty in society through capture of the government.

If the executives who make decisions for corporations (which are contracts that have inexplicably been assigned an anthropomorphic personification,) want to be decent members of society, they should stop stealing from the people closest to them. They should stop looking to make up for it by getting strangers to lavish praise on them for relatively trivial acts of generosity. Instead, they should pay for the educated workers, stable supply chain infrastructure, peaceful communities, orderly legal system and prosperous consumers their businesses benefit from. Or look into doing business in Darfur, see how profitable it'd be to operate in a society with none of those benefits.

In short, there is no amount of charity that Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein can provide from his salary for his part in his company and his industry failing to abide by sensible regulations that have created unemployed and homeless people by the millions. He can't fund enough worker training programs, hand out enough small business loans, or open enough soup kitchens to make up for it. And even if he tried, even if he gave it all away, he'd still be a lousy human being who had created terrible, terrible suffering.

If a corporate executive wants me to like them, they can bring chips and beer to our next Project Runway party and shoot the breeze with all of us about how long the judges are going to string Jesus Estrada along before they cut him. Or they can quit abusing their positions to screw up my country in ways no ordinary citizen could ever dream of. Either way. But as far as I'm concerned, they should keep their *ing charity out of our faces like decent people, and mind their own *ing business.

Views expressed on this page are those of the authors and not necessarily those of Campaign for America's Future or Institute for America's Future